Play. Fast forward... slow motion.

There are moments in my life I wish I could fast forward. All the petty things, like showering, red-lights, facebook, making the bed, laundry, taking the dog out, driving (there are exceptions however), typing, giving the dog a bath, cooking... you get my drift. There are so many daily routines that take up so much time, time that I can not get back. Time I'd rather spend elsewhere.

And then there are moments when I wish I could hit the slow mo button. Moments that I could make last forever, if I could. Like the moment when I first saw John as I walked down the aisle... I could bask in that feeling for hours. Or the moment I first felt God's love for me... I still revisit this one often.

And then there are conversations that I would stop and replay over and over again. Like some of the conversations that mom, aunt b, and joy and I have in the kitchen-- they always end up in laughter. Or the conversations that John and I sometimes have about music or God or the first time we met... those leave me wishing for more hours in the day. And the conversations I have with Maria at work, about life and our differences and our similarities and how much we appreciate the other.

Other times, I wish I could hit the pause button, so I could stop for a moment and process the decisions I need to make. The pause button would have come in handy the time Ashley and I decided to hike Raven Cliff Falls. I would have taken a better look at the map and the distance and noticed the time and the weather before I chose the hardest hiking trail.

And admiring the scars on my knees and elbows proves as a child a pause option would have saved many boo-boos.

I do most of my thinking in the shower. It's always been that way. Growing up with three brothers and two sisters, the shower is about the only place you can achieve some privacy. However, that too is not necessarily promised. But tonight, I thought about how time is forever moving, for us anyhow. We are captive by it. I sometimes think about how time is fleeting fast. My life here will be complete before I realize it. I do not want to waste a second. My biggest fear has always been not accomplishing all that I could accomplish. So many things I want to taste and indulge in. I want to simmer in life. To do what others so dear to me did not get to do. I want to take not a breath for granted.

The life God gives is precious and rich in bounty. There is much to be gained and much to be spent. I pray that I will live fully, learn humbly, love much, and do plenty.

-MP